Friday, March 28, 2008


It feels good to be able to sit back and mentally relax tonight...finally after 3 months. So I sit here waiting for my face mask to harden and my toe nails to dry, and updating my blog.

I never thought twice about being able to handle my job and also have a baby. So the funny story is, I finally get pregnant and next thing I know I am transferred to this high workload team due to a lovely corporate re org. Then they decide to no longer maintain the same head count because they feel, with efficiencies, we could do the work with less people. Good in theory, not so great in reality. Then they give me the role of managing a Operating Participant roll out during my 6 & 7 month of pregnancy and 30 days straight of on call on top of that. In the meantime I am taking Ambien to sleep thru the pain I was going thru since day So finally I take medical leave to have Logan and when I come back 3 months later...guess what re org. So now I have a new Boss ..again..and dealing with Logan's health issues....hard to impress the new boss when you are taking an average of 5 days a month off in sick time to be with your child. So we get thru that and then we have an unexpected bout of drama and we are forced into another re org. At this point I have 10 times the workload then when I got pregnant and all this high profile responsibilities...which means if I let something slip the VP will hear about it first hand. (no pressure there). So when I am finally at my witt's end- the economy takes a dive and now I have to hang on to my job even longer. So the moral to my story was...I am

I guess I am figuring out that I am not Super Woman..or Super Mom. I enjoy a challenge but I have so many other higher priorities that I just don't have enough of me to go around. All the people that I work with 98% of them are men with stay at home wives - so they don't bat an eye at staying late or working on the weekends. How do I compete with that?? I received my annual raise today and it ended up more then I thought, so I guess that is my reward for the work I did last year. But I still catch myself asking - is it worth it? I also wonder how other women do it that are in my shoes.

Easter Weekend....

We spent the weekend with Tim's family. It as very special to see the kids together and getting along so well. Ryan is getting so big and Braeydn is a busy little girl. Our new addition to the family, Kendyll, definitely got her share of fresh air and was held by everyone. The kids colored eggs and even took part in a Easter Egg Hunt. Here are some pictures of our nice weekend..

Logan & Daddy Color Eggs

Logan Counting his eggs

The kids checking out their Easter baskets

Logan & Braedyn exploring
Me & Ryan

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Take A Moment & Be Responsible

I will do my best not to lecture or come across too brash...ah forget it who am I
I truly think everyone who has kids or a spouse needs to have life insurance and plan for the future even if it is not the best thing to think about or discuss.

Lately this topic has come up a lot in my life lately. I was very surprised when I found out my Step Dad, my Mom and even my Dad do not have life insurance. I am sorry but in the event of the death of a spouse or a parent it is so unfair to leave that burden on those who are grieving your loss or having to take on all the responsibilities that was once shared with you. I think it is unfair not to be organized enough in you life to take the time to think about those that would get left behind. I am in no way saying you should make someone else wealthy off of your passing, but instead making sure life will not be tougher than it already would be on your loved ones.
I get great comfort from knowing that in my passing my kid's college will be paid for, the house would be paid off, funeral costs, and still have enough money left over where my family would have time to get back on their feet before having to think about finances. Isn't this what everyone wants for their loved ones???
Some people believe that if they start planning or talking about death that it may jinx them or something....well get over yourself....this is called adulthood and it is time to make adult decisions no matter how much you don't enjoy talking about it.
So please if you have not already done so, get off you butt and do something beneficial for those who love you!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

A Special Note Of Thanks!

My mother-in-law came to visit on Monday night and we had a very nice visit and we stayed up way too late! But she was able to witness a mild case of what we have been struggling with when it came to Logan going to bed. Finally Logan went to sleep and we got to talking about all the different things we had tried unsuccessfully. Well she came up with an idea for us to try. She said we should put him in his room for quiet time instead of just right at nap time. So yesterday I was home with him and I gave it a try. I let him play in his room for about 45 minutes and then I went in there and gave him some milk and his baby and said it was now time for nap. After 1 reminder and a blanket request - he was asleep and I was emotional still in tact and enjoyed the quiet time so that I could get things done around the house. So after a successful nap we had to decide how to handle bedtime at night. So we turned his lights off and only turned on his lamp. We told him he could play until we came back in and then it would be bedtime. All went well and when we came back in he was already in his bed as if he was waiting. We played shadow puppets and a few reminders later he was asleep. So for now we are hoping this new concept will buy us another week until he catches on to our plan and we are forced to get creative again. -- But Thanks So Much Charlotte!

Don't get to excited for us though..because he still got up every 2 hours! day I WILL WIN this battle!

Monday, March 10, 2008

Life Is...Hard Sometimes

Life changes even when you are not prepared...I received word that my Dad's heart is only pumping at 40% and it is not able to maintain a steady heart beat. He has already had triple bypass surgery a few years back...and I am told he is not a candidate for a implantable cardioverter-defibrillator.
Part of me feels like I need to go see him and just clear things up, but then the other part of me feels like I lost my father years ago. I take pride in being a very caring person and it is so not like me to question the options. I spoke to him on the phone and he didn't even remember Logan's name and was surprised that he was already two. I had to fight back every tear because I was truly hurt by that. He spent most of the conversation talking about his will and what he wanted to do with his land...but all I wanted was..a "I Miss You" or a "I Am Sorry I Have Screwed Things Up So Bad".
All I know is I want God to treat him well and make everything okay.
He has caused a fire inside me that makes me work so very hard at being the best parent I can be..because no child should ever feel what me and my siblings had to feel. I just wish more people took greater pride in their parental role.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

The Minute You Decide to Take Deep Breath....

Remember awhile back I was bragging about how easy it was to get Logan to sleep in his "Big Boy" bed...well let me now eat my HAT!
We have struggled for the last week with getting him to sleep. By the time he has tired himself out, me and Tim just look at each other because he has pretty much consumed everything we had left for the day. Do children purposely try to keep us guessing...because this little guy has me stumped!

Keeping nightly routine....forget it...doesn't work
Intimidation..forget it...doesn't work
Storytelling and rocking...forget it...doesn't work
Rubbing his tummy...forget it...doesn't work
Keeping him up later...forget it...doesn't work

Tonight...singing for 20 minutes straight "Rock a Bye Baby"...kill me now!...but it worked

What will tomorrow require??...who knows...
But my guess is 2 Tylenol PMs for Mom and and one hell of a Martini!

--Prime example of his devilish grin

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Wishful Thinking..

I think there needs to be Anger Management classes for Toddlers!

I think that hypochondriacs should get what they truly wish for!

I think that Chocolate Licorice should contain less Fat!

I think that Dentists should give you Bose noise cancelling headphones!

I think that Orbit gum needs a "Bubbalicious" Grape flavor!

I think that Microsoft Office Communicator should allow for incoming message sound effects to alert you when the office Schmuck needs something from you..AGAIN!

I think that Uncle Sam can take the 600$ tax credit for daycare and stick it up his assotola! Make it worth while at least if I have to keep track!

I think that for as much money as I spend on anti-aging creams - I should look 15!

I think I need to cut my hair off and donate it to Locks for Love - obviously they would appreciate it more then I do.

I think Mt. Dew needs to be sold with a shot of Vodka in it for days like this!

I think that sleeping pills with no adverse side effects should be perscribed to children!

I think that a Democrat can fix this know I am kidding,

I think that Motrin is god's gift to all mothers!

I think that if a big ass works for Kim Kardashian then it can work for me too!

I think that if 80% of the women in the U.S have IBS maybe someone should get smart and find out WHY!