Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Letting go...

Men are made so different then us women.

You can get into a screaming match with your husband and 20 minutes later, he will want to get romantic. I on the other hand, have been spending the past 20 minutes calculating how he is wrong and how my feelings were affected and what affect this could have on our future..does he still love me...blah blah blah..
So I have figured it out Men do not have short term
Seriously, why do we hang on to things forever, why do we let things crawl under our skin and burrow around until we explode? Or is it not women in general, maybe it is just me. I really need to figure out how they are capable of this feat. Just think of the guilt...less gray hair...hmm

Monday, January 28, 2008

Some Day...Positive thoughts are hard to come by

You all know the phrase "Kill them with kindness", right?
Well what do you do when the kindness is beginning to kill you instead??

Is it wrong to just decide it is just not worth the fight anymore?
At what point is it okay to just walk away and no longer subject yourself to repeatly getting thrown against the same brick wall over and over again? Why can't people just live up to my expectations and then I don't have to deal with this kind of thing.

I think that the phrase should be "Kill them with bitch slapping" instead.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Time to just be a woman...

I have had a realization that has caused me to do some inner soul searching. I have found that I have some how misplaced my "It is okay to be a woman" card.

Why can't Tim open the jar for least then I wouldn't swear and grunt?

Why do I feel like I have to carry in just as many, if not more, bags of groceries then Tim does?

Why can't I ask Tim to take out the garbage for's not like I enjoy it anyway?

Why can't I let the guy at the 7-eleven open the door for me without me saying.."Oh no, that is okay, go ahead"?

Why can't I justify in my own head that a mani-pedi every month is a necessity?

Why can't I let Tim hang the picture after I drop a few F bombs trying to get the nail in the wall?

Why can't I let Tim vacuum my van out...maybe then I could hint about the armour-all too?

Why can't I take Tim up on the offer to just go sit down and put my feet up?

Have I lost my flipp'n mind - Life could be so much easier! I thought women were smarter then is official I am now a proud bearer of "The Woman Card"

Monday, January 21, 2008

Is it wrong...?

When your 2 year old son knows what each piece of makeup is used for?
When your 2 year old son has to check himself out in the mirror before going to daycare?
When your 2 year old son has to put mousse in his hair and insists on the brush not the comb?
Or when he is better at using my eyelash curler then me?

...I think Dad needs to get him ready for daycare from now

My "BIG" boy..

I am oncall today and Tim had to work so I figured I would go into the office because I can not do oncall and keep track of Logan all day. Besides Logan starts his new class this week and I want to keep this week as normal as possible for him. Normally Mondays are rough due to him having Mom all weekend.

Today was Logan's first day in his new classroom. I was so prepared I left the house a half hour early and prepared all his things the night before so I could allow for Logan to take all the time he needed to get comfortable before leaving him at daycare. So we pull into the parking lot and Logan gets excited saying "Andrew, Andrew!" (that is his best buddy) My heart sinks, because Andrew is in his old classroom, and he is not going to see him today. But I decide to be positive and upbeat in hopes that he too will be excited to see his new teacher. Can you tell I am preparing for "Insanity"? So Logan decides he should be the one to lock the car doors - he struts into daycare toting my keys and begins talking to the administrator at the front desk. So far so good... We approach the "T" in the hallway, and he is not happy that we are heading down the wrong hallway in his mind. So we get to the door of his new room, I say "1..2..3.." and I open the door....Logan runs down the hall screaming "NO, NO , NO"....of course I go after him with the stuff in my arms. Luckily his teacher assists me and he is happy to see her. So she picks him up and I struggle with the items in my arms. We make it back to his room and to his surprise...his girlfriend Mallory is there! She came and gave him a hug and kiss on the cheek and he blushed...ahh it was so cute! He them walked over to the puppy he painted and showed it to me very proudly. He was asked to bring pictures of himself and family so he shared his pictures with his class and was very proud to show off his "Sissy". So I am thinking that things are going much better...then they bring out this bucket of plastic bugs....and for those of you who know how much my son loves can only imagine his reaction when they dumped the bucket on the it is not that funny knowing how scared he got, but it is very funny He freaked out, but his teacher sat him in her lap and talked to him about one particular bug and next thing I know he is all into the whole bug infestation on the table. I figured I would attempt to leave, so I said "Bye Logan"..and he paid me no mind at I said again.."Bye Logan" he ran to me grabbed both sides of my head and planted a huge kiss on my lips then ran back to his teacher....I walked out of the door on the verge of tears. I closed the door and walked to the front door in a daze - then the administrator at the front desk asks me how drop-off went and I told he he did great and then my eyes began to well up with tears. So after a few words of encouragement I walked to my car and took a deep breath...and whined to myself about how old my BIG boy is.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

The Same Page...

Do you ever feel like you and your spouse are reading the same book and can pretty much guess what the other is thinking- but the next thing you know the other is like 15 pages ahead of you and you just can't read fast enough to keep up. Me and my husband had been reading the same book for 4 years and Brittany had no problems keeping up with our reading agenda. Before we knew it along came Logan and no longer were we able to maintain the same reading habits and suddenly we were all no longer on the same page. I have finally figured out why things tend to get out of balance..babies can't read!

Hey - I thought it was funny!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Crack Open the Champagne...

..and run me a bubble bath!
Because "I did it!!" I made my mark today and everyone was very impressed with my performance!- including myself. I even received pats on the back from all my co-workers and even my former boss called me at home to congratulate me! See would stressing about it have made the outcome any better - heck No! Wow..this is a whole new world for me and I am loving it! Thanks for the prayers and the votes of confidence!

Thanks Hubby for being so proud! Love ya :o)

Life is good..and on the road to being great!

I think I am figuring things out..

I have a big day today, you can describe it as a make or break my career kind of day. For some reason I am not nervous or afraid of the outcome. I am prepared, but I never obsessed about it like the old me would have done. I guess prayers and good thoughts make a world of difference when it comes to dealing with mental stress. So for a momment I realized that this is the new Vicky and that I was able to be that person I have been wanting to be for a very long time and it happened without me even knowing it.

Yesterday I was able to put my family first in front of my job without hesitation, and I am quite proud of that accomplishment. It all stemmed from Brittany asking me if she could attend a after school class that prepares students for their AP test. (they have to pass the test to earn college credits for the AP classes they took) I found myself telling her there is no way my boss would let me get off on Tuesdays to accomodate her so there would be no way she could go. It drove me crazy because this impacts my daughters future and doesn't show much support by her parents for her academic achievements. So next thing I know I was in my boss's office requesting to work from home on Tuesdays until mid April. I explained my situation and the importance, and to my surprise we were able to work it out! So kudos to my boss who I never thought had a sympathetic bone in his body. Don't get me wrong I still have to be accountable for a lot to make it happen, but it was so worth it to give Brittany the news at the dinner table!!

It might have taken a long time for me to realize a lot of things, but I am just glad I finally woke up! I love my family!!

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

What I Am Hoping The New Year Brings...

I have managed to spend the last year being totally stressed out and zooming around at warp speed all the time. I believe my priorities have been a little messed up. I forgot that my focus should be my family and that I should not be adding to our stressful life by constantly volunteering to do everything and making every event into some sort of huge project. At work I have let myself become engulfed into the madness in hopes to prove myself worthy enough for a promotion - because in my mind, the more money I make means the possibility of us having another baby.

So I took a step back and said to myself - look woman you have Brittany who may be moving out soon and you have limited time to spend teaching her, bonding with her, and preparing her for the life that is ahead. And..Logan is already 2 years old and the last 2 years have been a blurr - okay maybe that is a little clouded - I still remember the crazy he instilled in all of us and the continual sleepless nights, but seriously, he needs me- he needs me to be as involved as much as possible in his molding - because two is a real turning point in their development and in their behavior. So maybe instead of working so hard to make more money in hopes of having more children I need to just "Breathe" and cherish the ones I have and the wonderful life they have given me.

I also have this wonderful man in my life, my husband. We have been stretched to our limits in the last couple years and have still managed to stay somewhat connected. I still get the twinkle in my eye when I look over and " check him out" - so I know we will get through anything but I don't think I have given our marriage the attention it needs. I tend to focus so much on the kids and the crazy life at work that I get lazy and just assume he understands and that we are always okay. But in everything that I read - the marriage is what keeps the rest of the family healthy and stable and should always come first. That makes sense to me - but in real life that is harder to do than you may think. But..

Today is a new day and it is a New Year - so changes are coming!
  • Hubby Time! - Date night regularly
  • No more work overload
  • No snapping at Hubby when stressed- Bite that tongue girl! (Even when you know you are right)
  • Girls day with Britt more often!
  • Family Game Night Again! - Monthly
  • Movie Night Again! - Weekly
  • One on One Logan Time Adventure
  • Create more traditions
  • Attend Church
  • Discipline Plan - Mutually decide on what works for the both of us
  • Understand it is okay to have "Vicky" time

-Wish me luck!

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

My Little Dude Turns 2!!

Pirates Everywhere!

Logan thought it would be nice to dress up for Daddy.

My last minute cake order proved to be a success!

Everyone we invited showed up - how often does that happen! It was a wonderful party and Logan loved all his presents and playing with everyone! Check out some more pictures:

Granddaddy is always Logan's buddy!

Sissy is quite the tattoo artist!

Bubbles + Sand + Water= A Whole Lotta Fun!!!

Cake Time!!

The sad part of the whole day was knowing that my little baby was now a TODDLER. Where did the time go?? I think it is time for another! - haha